As of late.....

Picking out colors to paint our walls :) !!!

Sweet dinner messages from my hubby <3

New vase for window sill cheer :)

Especially needed since a new house just went up approximately 2 feet from ours!!!! :( !!!!

Home made graham cracker crumbs used for feeding therapy, because the junk in store bought ones worry me.

Home made hummus for the same reason. Once I read the ingredients on the back of the store bought hummus that was part of our weekly grocery shopping list and some serious junk was found. I am still so surprised that we must turn even healthy food into something not healthy :(

My favorite music man.

Going in for the camera!

His excited dance!

Starting to love barn animal play!

This boy loves him some play silky play so this mama splurged and bought him a jumbo play silk to make a rainbow river that we crawl on!!

And for only 10$ more I could get a rainbow streamer! ;) Clearly a must...satisfies both my inner fairy love and his love for play silks!

And summer time toe nail polish!

Love you all! I hope you are having a blessed time here on this earth!

summertime swings in!

We didn't get any good pictures this weekend of our happenings, but I loved this one simply because we have the same expression.

"Uhh we are not ready for a picture yet, the sun is in our eyes!"

Our Daddo and hubby went out of town this weekend. And mama and baby had to fiend all for ourselves by ourselves! Ha, we actually went the weekend at his parents house, with his sister and mom. The only way to make it through a weekend with out him, spend it with his family ;)

But he seriously hangs the moon and the stars in the sky in our world. We love him so much, and we feel an emptiness when he is away from us, an ache in the pit of our stomachs. So glad he is home!

It was good in ways, for me, to do it on my own, but I am so thankful that I don't have to. I thought of mothers out there that have husbands that travel a lot and I thought of how strong and confident these women must be. I admire these mothers.

I am so pleased to share that Griffin loved the big pool this year! Last year he didn't really care for it, but now he loves it! We swam and swam this weekend. I would set him on the edge and say "Griffin jump, 1....2....3!" And he would lean to me, and I would catch him in my arms! So fun! He would swim with me, where he would straighten out his little legs behind him and I would swim him all around, we would take boat rides on floats, and jump up and down!

It is the must fun thing, enjoying life with him!

And he is just a blossomer lately!

Trying, trying to talk......attempting dog, and dada. Really started to point more and more. Holding and feeding himself his sippy cup of milk. Clapping all the time for himself or for others when they do something good. Learning new signs. Pointing to mamas mouth, nose, and eyes when asked to find them!

And I also really want to say that all you bloggers rock! Your blogs are all just awesome! I don't always keep up with commenting but I try really hard to read them when I can. And I am so thankful for all of the brilliant mama's out there sharing their wonderful beautiful ideas and inspiration with the world!

Love to you :)

music mojo

On Monday me and the husband made a trip for the day and night to Austin. My first time ever to explore this city a bit! Matt was going there to sing some harmony vocals on a friends album that he is recording at a studio in Austin.

And I am so thankful for these brilliant musicians.......

Colby Miller

and

Walt Wilkins

For inspiring this brilliant musician lately......

Anyways Austin did not dissapoint, fun food, fun shopping at super cool thrift vintage clothing stores. That night me and Matt caught a band playing at The Conitental Club and we watched wonderful dancers dance east coast swing! The Whole Foods in Austin even had kombucha on tap! I about flipped, I think they are after my heart ;)

I always love and I am even still surprised, when I go to a town that I often dream of living in, that I always realize that I love home the most. Now I think if the places I were traveling to, became my home then I would love them the most. But I love, that I love home so much, the place that my feet are planted into, and all that, that encompasses, and traveling away from it, I always come back with more love and contentment for this place that I call home.

And some summer beginnings!

Home Love

Tonight I just was in love with my home. And I always think that I have to wait untill it is done, to share it on here, but I was to in love with it to wait until that day. It is no masterpiece at all, but I still just love it, in all of its cozyness, and mineness, and oursness that it is.

Griffin's sweet room, not done, but lived in and enjoyed :)

Monday night I cleared out our living room, rearranged a few things, opened up a lot more space in that room, and created a book nook corner for Griffin. ( Griffin is laying there on that book, saying, mama I am tired, put me to bed please)

Cozy and open living room.

And prisms and bubbles in the window always make me smile :)

Peace found amongst a not perfectly cleaned kitchen, inspired by this quote I found posted on a blog, but written by Anne Lammot, one of my favorite authors.

"Clutter and mess show us that life is being lived...Tidiness makes me think of held breath, of suspended animation... Perfectionism is a mean, frozen form of idealism, while messes are the artist's true friend. What people somehow forgot to mention when we were children was that we need to make messes in order to find out who we are and why we are here."— Anne Lamott

First clothes line! And can I just say how oh so happy it makes me seeing clothes on here whipping in the wind and sunshine! So happy! Plus it makes me feel oh so hip and cool!

And on cool, breezy days, I have been leaving the back door open so Griffin can have fun crawling back and forth, from inside to out, putting balls outside, and then putting them inside.

Oh some day last week, I decided to shred some papers that needed to be shredded, and this is what it turned into...a shredded paper fun house!

And just some night time silky play :)

Love new jammies, love his hair growing, love his teeth coming in. All the things that are a little bit harder for him, when they happen, I feel like I witnessed a miracle, every time. I remember when he cut his first tooth, I cried because I worried he might not have teeth. His growing hair is starting to flip out in the back and it makes my heart smile every time I see it.

And late night fun for mama. Catching up on the lovely blog world :)

I love our home, it is my favorite place to be. And when I clean it, I imagine I am giving it a good back rub :)

Good night blog land.

Reporting :) with a smile .....

Another full week, but me and the boy are staying in, in, in all day tomorrow. By in, I mean not driving anywhere. Hopefully we play outside quite a bit.

On Tuesday night me and Matt went to our first meeting with the School District to discuss Griffin's transition into PPCD, which is public preschool at his local elementary school for special needs children. It felt good. I am not really freaked out at all. I mean I pulled him out of his little mothers day out preschool things, that we tried for 6 months, to free up some time to do other things, but also because I wanted him with me, and not there. Thinking about him being gone 5 days a week for 4 hours makes my heart long and ache, I will miss him. But I just feel so blessed to be able to be fully available for him and to him during his transition. I also feel so blessed to be able to be so super involved with making sure I like the program that he is going into. I mean I don't have any other kids, and I don't work, so I have got time and no other obligations other than him, and for that, at this moment I am so very thankful! Also I feel so very blessed that I don't feel dependent on the school district, if I don't like it, if I feel it is not the right place for him, then he won't go there, we will figure something else out. After the meeting me and Matt talked about how we felt like we were Griffin's school, and not like we needed the school district desperately to help us with him.

And then today we had our yearly hearing screening, to test for any hearing loss or problems in Griffin. Hearing issues are very common in Down syndrome so we test yearly for anything. He was all cleared even though it took a while to get a good test.

AND THEN..... after that we went to our 2nd Hippo-therapy session.

Hehe.....Griffin did not like the helmet on his head. He was awake this time and excited until a helmet was strapped to him, then he was irritated! His therapist was great though at distracting him, and he rode, Lacey, a beautiful white pony for 30 minutes. The had this black harness strapped around Griffin to give him support, and he just laid stomach down, head down on the Lacey's back almost the entire time. As I watched him, I laughed at my last weeks expectations, and even many of my life expectations. What am I thinking sometimes? Reality and fantasy is a line that is blurred so much in my mind. It felt good to be able to see how outlandish my expectations can be.

And I think I am about to post two posts back to back because I feel like writing on two subjects tonight. So I will be right back.........

On Mother's Day

There is no great tradition yet, for Mothers Day for us. Just to be together in all that we do, and mama gets some extra attention, that's for sure.

But what I find so cool about this day, is how each year this day becomes more and more special to me, it holds more and more meaning each time around. Which can only mean one thing, and that is I grow more and more into my role of mothering. I love it more and more. Being a mother becomes more and more special to me, more and more important. Which is awesome.

And today I spent most of my day, from the time Griffin awoke and was carried into our bed to ease his parents into morning, until now, being thankful for him, for the boy who made me a momma, and teaches and shows me the way everyday. For allowing me to grow and learn, and being gracious, forgiving, and loving of the imperfect mother that I am. For seeing the beauty and the prize that is in me, even when I don't see it. For being my biggest fan. Never in my life has someone looked at me, like he does, and seeing myself through his eyes has been restoring to say the least.

I mean Griffin thinks I am funny, and I would say that he even thinks I am the funniest person ever, and let me tell you, that I am not funny to any one else. Oh I have wanted to be funny all my life, because if you can make people laugh you are guaranteed to be liked.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday of this week were F-U-L-L days. A little to full for me, and it all cumulated in our first hippotherapy session on Thursday at 1 p.m., because I had HUGE expectations. I saw this therapy session as being the beginning to Griffin's life long love for horse's, and horse back riding. Which would eventually lead us to owning our own horses, where Momma, Dada, and Griffin would take off through the fields and trees on horseback and feel the wind and the sun on our faces. Where Griffin would start the bond with these amazing creatures, which would lead to beautiful relationships among him and his horse. This relationship with this horse, would give him purpose, and love, and help him physically and emotionally.

So when he fell asleep on the way, and was pissed when I woke him up, and he did not want to wear the helmet or even look or touch the horse, I was so let down. I mean I think I really expected him to ride off in the sunset on that first day or something.

Anyway, I thought and thought about it, about how I was putting my dreams on him, and not allowing him his dreams. Something I swore I would never do.

So I spent most of Friday and Saturday at home to re coop from to full of days, and the slowing down was so good.

And on slowing down......

Something I am always trying to do, because I am the person, that wants to exercise 10 times a week, and be the instructor, and cook and make everything homemade, and grow most of my own food, and have a decorated home which is always clean and picked up, and so is my car, always clean, and I get ready and dressed everyday, and I play all the time with my boy, and I read books, and I journal and I write, and I help others and give of my time, and I take pictures, and I blog, and I go to support groups, and I go to therapy with my son, and I go out with my husband on dates, and I travel, and I keep up with friends, and I visit family, and I work on therapy at home with my son, and I sleep in, and I get up early, and I watch the news and read the paper, and I pay all my bills on time, and balance budgets, and have pets that I play with, and I sew my own clothes, and I sew Griffin clothes, and I just sew, and believe it or not the list goes on and on....

So I am always having to slow down, and come to terms with not doing it all. And I am always having to try to make the right decision as to what I should be doing, what is most important. And on days when I let a lot of things drop off and I just slow down, like on Friday and Saturday it feels soooo good. So good.

And I jotted down these notes today during church....

Be patient, slow down.

What fits in my life?

What kind of mother am I?

What if I can't do all of the things I love and admire that other mothers do?

Is that ok?

Yes, it is.

I have to be in my life and do the things that I am suppose to be doing.

So then what happens to the things I love and dream of?

They are not as important as the here and the now and the where I am supposed to be now.

Be patient.

Live with your dreams.

Don't let go of them.

Be OK with unfulfilled dreams, knowing that you have a handful of dreams being fulfilled right now.

Where are we?

Where is our life?

I am not everyone or anyone else and my life and my life setup is entirely unique and no less beautiful.

It is all beautiful.

So to all the mothers out there that don't do it all, or who do more, or who do less.

Happy Mother's Day.

We are all growing, learning, trying. And that is enough. We are always enough.

From here...

To here......

I love it all.

Ridin a horsey through the town

Last weekend we went to visit my Granddaddy in Brenham. And it was a dreamy visit. Griffin was able to take his first horsey ride and he loved it. I want to remember all of his little expressions upon taking in all of this newness.

At first my Granddaddy was with the horse in the circular arena and he was making Danny Boy gallop and getting all of the bucks out so he would be calm and ready to ride. Me and Griffin sat on these bleacher benches that overlook the arena and every time the horse would gallop by us griffin would wave his little arms and hands out in front of him. Something he does often when he gets excited or when he is anticipating something or when we are playing chase.

Then when it was our turn to ride the horsey, we walked up to it side, and I began petting him, and waited to see if Griffin would like to pet him also. And after a few moments of quietly observing he started to pet the horsey too, and Griffin kept trying to look at the horsey's face.

Then I asked him if he wanted to get on the horsey, by pointing to it and verbally asking him, and he always communicates to me that he wants to get on something when I do this by leaning and reaching for it. So after I asked him he leaned towards the horsey and up we went.

When Griffin gets excited or when he sees something he really wants and he is going for it, he often times makes this precious little face that words can't describe, it is to unique and full of Griffin essence to be described by generic words, but I will try. He will purse his lips together, and make this hmm, hmm, hmm, sound.

Atop the horsey he was making this excited noise and grabbing the saddle and pulling back and forth.

It was dreamy to be doing this with my little boy. And I was so thankful to my Granddaddy and Grandma Kay for always welcoming us.

Oh I have dreams of living on a farm. Where the green grass is endless, and and farm animals are all around. Where we milk cows, and feed pigs, and collect eggs, from our free range pastured chickens. Where we sit out under the stars at night, and grow our own food. Where we home make as much as we can. And grow gardens, after gardens, full of veggies, fruits, herbs, flowers. Where we are the closest to life in all of its many forms. Maybe one day.....