The start....

Ahh..I have wanted to start a blog for some time now.  For many reasons I suppose.  One to have a way to look back on things that will make fond memories more clear, two to hopefully gain support and encouragement through out mothering, and third because I think writing is helpful and insightful.  But for all the reasons to blog I have reasons to not.  It is a miracle if I get to shower and eat all in the same day :)  So to add blogging to my life seems like I am just setting myself up for un-done to do's.  But tonight I felt inspired to write and share so here it goes, who knows this may be the first and the last, but I will just have to see where life takes me.  

Griffin is now 17 months old.  He does not crawl yet, or walk, or talk, or eat on his own.  So many days I am all tangled up in concern for these things to happen.  But also soo many days I let it all go and hope and believe that it is all ok, he will be fine.  I really think he will do all of those things on his own time.  He still has a lot of life ahead of him with plenty of time to achieve those things.  Secretly a lot of my worry is rooted in selfishness.  I think, "Oh my life would be easier if he could walk, or if he could feed himself".  So where my heart has been changing lately is in the area where I give myself away.  I am trying to revel in the beauty that I often miss.  

Tonight was going so rough.  He didn't want to eat, he was getting bored easily, he was screaming a lot, the house is a wreck.  I didn't know if I was going to lose it also.  I decided to set up his baby pool for him to play in because I knew most likely he would enjoy that, and he did.  I then just sat and breathed for 45 minutes.   The night continued on.  But it did take a wonderful turn.  He was so very sleepy and it was about 9 30.  He couldn't get comfortable on me at all so I decided to just lay him down in his crib and see if he could get comfortable with out my help.  Well instead he rolled all over the bed babbling making all sorts of noises, happy as could be.  I left him to his hearts content and turned on the baby monitor to go use the restroom and do a few things around the house.  When I came back to check on him 10 minutes later, he was sitting up!  That is a really big deal!  He has never sat him self up on his own before.  He is a really great sitter but I always sit him down or up or however you want to look at it.  

So this is for you Griffin.  The advocate that I should be for you all the time.  Griffin at 17 months, you sat up on your own from lying down, you roll all over the place, you push up with your hands while you are on your tummy, you pull up your knees underneath you when you are on your tummy, you babble and make all kinds of beautiful sounds, you can drink through a straw, you can eat baby food off of a spoon, you can drink your bottle, you sit up so straight and strong and sooo well, you scoot in circles to get to certain things or look at certain things, you can wave bye bye and hi, you are getting two teeth in, you bang two objects together, you dump toys out of a bucket and put them back in, you press buttons to make a toy light up or sing, you roll a ball back and forth, reach to be picked up, you can pull up to stand (with mommy's help), you can pour water out of a cup, you make the best "duh" sound, you give mommy and daddy and your stuffed animals the best kisses and hugs, you open and shut things, and so much more that I know I am overlooking.  But you do and will do way more than you don't or won't.  I love you.