Mishaps of Motherhood...

That picture has nothing to do with this post, but I love starting with a picture and I had none that directly corrresponded with what I wanted to write about, so alas, a recent one of Griffin helping me make muffins.

I cannot begin to explain how much each word of encouragement, expression of love, and just sheer acceptance and understanding meant to me that I received from friends and family in response to my previous post.  

This is actually the second time I have tried to write this post.  I had written a pretty lengthy one earlier and just as I was finishing up, the computer froze and I lost it :(  

After I posted "my struggle" post last week, I kept finding all over the place people talking about how purposeful, important, and crucial the struggle is to who we become. 

I love the way my friend Aaron put it here....

I love this line, 

"Spiritual poverty recognizes that all we have and all we are is a total gift from God. We are totally dependent on God, a good and loving God, who is in charge of the universe and in charge of our lives. Are we humble enough to acknowledge our total dependence on God? Are we ready to admit that we don’t have all the answers in our own right?"

Why do I resist my dependence on him?  Sigh, I don't know.  

Maybe because I don't completely trust him, I'd rather trust myself, which makes no sense to me at all.  

I can tell you, that like my friend Anna said, these struggles, make a need in me present for God, which is beautiful. And I know he has it all figured out...I just fear that I won't get it right, I will chose selfishness over God and love. 

This past week these two blogs totally helped me.....

Kelle Hampton.

Jennifer Graf Groneberg.  

Both of these were links in the previous post, I just wanted to explain a little bit of why I loved them so.  

Kelle just gave birth to a little girl with Down syndrome about 6 weeks ago, and her outlook on life literally pumps me up and empowers me.  If you have time I highly recommend reading her blog, it is incredible.  

And Jennifer, wrote a book about her and her son's, Avery, first two years together.  Avery has Down syndrome and her book was the first one I ever read about Down syndrome about 2 years ago.  She recently blogged about how she wished Avery's birth story would have been more like Kelle's.  What I loved most about her post was actually all of the responses to it.  Her story, although, different from Kelle's was just as important, is what so many women were saying.  And basically all of that was just reconfirming to me, that other mothers that I admire, struggle through out mothering as well.  To struggle is, well, universal, which makes it a little less scary.  

Where I am at, not having all the answers, having imperfections, handling things in the wrong way, has humbled me and is breeding compassion in me for others that appear to have it "less" together, and it feels really really good to feel this compassion that comes from understanding that it is hard to just will yourself to be "there".  And I want to go back and make amends to every judgmental thought or action I have ever taken part in.  

When I go through a time, whether that be an hour, or a day, when I think that mothering is just too much , that it is too hard, and I don't think that I will be able to handle it all, each time I came out the other end...wanting to be a mother that much more.  I think that is beautiful.  I am thankful for that. 

And I think that is all I have to share for tonight...I will leave with a few pictures of our littlest bobo!  

We are going to buy Griffin a Ukulele soon because he absolutely loves strumming on his daddy's guitar!